


The Way We Love

by cerseilannisters



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abraham's Army, Age Difference, Also I want to climb him like a tree, Big old red head, But maybe I'm projecting here, Every show needs a quirky British character okay, F/M, Fluff and Smut, I love Abraham Ford so much, Love, Michael Cudlitz - Freeform, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Survival Horror, Survival Training, Unrequited love - or is it?, Vague Daddy Kink, bisquick, pouring it hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22255084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerseilannisters/pseuds/cerseilannisters
Summary: The first time Abraham had touched her had not been intimate at all, but later on Kate got a girlish thrill from thinking about how easily he’d helped her over the fence and into safety.
Relationships: Abraham Ford/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Abraham Ford is my favourite character, I genuinely love him to the point of still being unable to think too much about what happened to him without crying. The lack of fanfiction about him has always been disappointing, so here I am writing my own. Michael Cudlitz – if you have somehow stumbled upon this, turn away now. Also please marry me. 
> 
> It’s really important to note that for the purposes of this story, Abraham/Rosita is not a thing. Also no Abraham/Sasha. I’d like to fulfil my smutty fantasies without those obstacles.
> 
> Finally, there will be no tragic death scene in this story because I’m still in complete denial and won’t ever be over it *clutches Abraham funko pop and weeps*
> 
> Please review if you enjoy so I know I’m not chattering into the void! :)  
> \- H.

It wasn’t anything she’d planned for. Like most things in the world, especially now, it just kind of happened. The first time Kate saw Abraham he was just a shadow in the back of the train car, a tall and looming shape that stood out to her for his size alone. They didn’t speak, at least not in a way that didn’t include the entire group. His mission interested her, but besides that she couldn’t remember thinking much too about him in those first minutes. It seemed strange to her now given how much she could not stop herself from thinking about him constantly. She supposed it was because what had happened to the prison had still not settled itself in her mind, and she’d still being trying to process what Michonne had told her when she’d stumbled across her, Rick, Daryl, and Carl somewhere along the train tracks before Terminus.

It was the first time Kate really understood how brutal this new life could be. She’d been an anxious person before the walkers took over, and having to constantly look out for danger only made this worse, though this was all her own secret. Even before the chaos she’d been good at hiding her weakness, she was one of those women who acted like they didn’t care when deep down they cared a little too much. For a twenty-eight year old, before and after walker world, Kate had been through her fair share of hardships. She could not say whether not knowing what was going on back home in England made her anxieties better or worse.

The fight out of Terminus was a blur, and even despite the skills she’d picked up from others in the group, Kate was not exactly a champion gunman. She could hit her target eventually, but if the target was firing back at her she struggled to find the balance between defence and offense. She remembered seeing how it wasn’t like that for Abraham; he seemed built for fighting of all kinds. But big knives, pipes, even a sturdy tree branch or two, those were Kate’s weapons of choice. She was good at throwing her weight around, and being tall and well-built meant her advantage was strength. She could take a hit if she had to. It was funny really, in the past she’d felt badly about herself; broad shoulders and wide hips weren’t really what she considered beautiful. But now Kate thought this sturdiness was what had gotten her by so far.

The first time Abraham had touched her had not been intimate at all, but later on Kate got a girlish thrill from thinking about how easily he’d helped her over the fence and into safety. It was clear he too was strong, and in more ways than one.

Walking through the woods back to their buried cache of weapons had been the first chance Kate had gotten to really look at the three new members of their group. Their mission excited her, the prospect of all this chaos being over and her being able to fly back home again made her want to join them immediately. But there were other things to consider too, like whether her family were even still alive, and whether it was worth abandoning the family she’d made here for that slim chance.

She’d admired Rosita and was fascinated by Eugene, but really it was Abraham that stood out to her the most. He was a leader like Rick was, but there was something more solid in his approach. She also felt like he was thinking a whole lot that he wasn’t saying. She was walking on Rick’s left when Abraham appeared at his right.

“You ready to get some concrete under your feet?” He asked.

“I think it’s time,” Rick replied.

Abraham seemed pleased by this, smiling as he looked forward. “That is sweet music to my ears, Officer. We’ll take the next road we come to, try to get back to going north until we find a vehicle. Good?”

Rick nodded. “Good.”

The screaming they’d all heard next came entirely by surprise, and before she knew it Kate was standing on the steps of a church. The others had left for supplies. Along with Tyreese and Carl she’d stayed behind to look after Judith and survey the area in case Gabriel, the priest they’d saved, really was lying about having no people with him. Her gut had told her it was unlikely, but after all they’d just been through it was difficult to really trust anybody.

Abraham, Eugene and Rosita had been attempting to fix the church bus when Kate, with her eyes on the woods around them, and holding a rifle, had approached.

“I’d offer to help,” she’d said. “But I really don’t know much about cars, and _definitely_ not American cars...”

Eugene, who was surveying the engine, had perked up. “I realize we’re practically strangers, but I gotta say I dig the accent. Reminds this fella of a Doctor Who marathon I once had with a-”

“Will someone try to turn this thing on?” Abraham interrupted, poking his ginger head out from underneath one of the front wheels. As Kate was closest, she’d hopped onto the bus and turned the key. The vehicle had screeched at her and she’d quickly come out again.

“Nope.” She’d shaken her head and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. She’d been in America long enough but was convinced that no amount of time would get her used to the heat.

Kate noticed Rosita watching her when Eugene spoke again. “The shirt, that a random necessity or conscious choice to represent?”

It had taken her a second to register what he meant. She was wearing a Han Solo shirt she’d found in an abandoned comic book store, along with a good haul of rare books that now lay abandoned in her cell back at the prison. That’s if they survived the tank...

“You like Star Wars, Eugene?” She’d smiled.

“Hell yes I do.”

“Me too.”

Later that evening, surrounded by good friends and good food, Kate was two glasses of communion wine in when Abraham had caught her eye again. “I’d like to propose a toast...” She’d watched him as he stood to address the group. “I look around this room,” he’d said, “and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors!” They all raised their glasses, something Kate hadn’t done in a while. She’d clinked hers against Tara’s and was about to say something to her when Abraham had continued: “Is that all you want to be? Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip. Eugene, what’s in D.C?”

“Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even for this fubar magnitude. That means fuel, food, refuge. Restart.”

“However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there, who don't got nothing left to do except survive.”

As Abraham finished his speech, he’d seemed to look each of them in the eye one-by-one. This was what he had been waiting to say to them all along. He knew like they all did that where strength really came from was in numbers, and if Eugene was going to save the world for all of them, helping him get to D.C was the least they could do. Whether it was the wine or his words or a combination of both, Kate had felt drawn to Abraham in a way she hadn’t to any man in a long time. It was why it was so easy for her to agree with Rick when he’d said they would go. What she hadn’t expected was to find herself shoving her way between the two men just hours later.

No rest for the wicked, as they say.

Some of the people at Terminus had survived, and they’d gotten to Bob, and Carol and Daryl were missing, and Kate had moved herself between Abraham and Rick to try and stop a fistfight breaking out.

“We need eachother to get to D.C. We can get through all of it together.” Kate had looked to Abraham pleadingly, not sure if he was really listening to her through his rage. He wanted to protect Eugene by leaving immediately, and though she understood why she knew it was not something Rick was going to back down on, not with what was coming.

“I have an idea,” she’d continued. “If you just stay one more day and help, I’ll go with you to D.C no matter what, okay?”

And she had, at least most of the way. Things did not go as planned, but now Kate thought maybe it was for the best after all. Alexandria was home, and it was almost like being back in the old world. The trouble now was that she had far more free time on her hands, and that meant time to think about Abraham.


	2. Different Days

It was supposed to be an easy enough supply run, and would only take a day if they were lucky. In and out. It was Eugene who had pointed out the supermarket on the map, a big and relatively isolated building that might prove fruitful if it wasn’t too overrun by walkers. The Alexandrians had never bothered to check it out, but now they had bigger numbers attempting such a big job wasn’t so intimidating. Rick, Michonne, Glenn and Eugene led the way in a truck, while Daryl, Kate, Abraham and Sasha followed behind in a car.

The parking lot was full of the dead, but they were spread out over the space and separated by enough abandoned vehicles that it was easy enough to clear a path. The main doors, once automatic, were stuck open just enough to slide your hand through. Kate tapped on the glass with her machete first, and when no walkers appeared she felt safe enough to start pushing the doors apart. They were stiff and resistant, and she was moving them slowly when two large gloved hands appeared above hers and sped the process along. When she looked up she saw Abraham standing behind her. He nodded at her gruffly as the group entered the building.  
  
“Flashlights on,” Rick raised his pistol and clicked his torch on just above it, passing the beam across the area in front of them. The supermarket had high ceilings and only small windows that ran around the top; it would have relied once on the large overhead lights hanging dusty and useless from beams above them, but now the power was down. As Kate heard the distinct groan of walkers from deep within, she couldn’t help but wish for a little more illumination.

Passing through the entryway and into main area of the supermarket, Daryl pulled a shopping cart out from its line and pushed it into the darkness. Its wheels rattled across the tiled floor until it came to a stop with a clatter. They were quiet, waiting, and when they were not immediately bombarded by walkers Kate felt relieved.  
  
“Either there’s not that many of them, or they’re trapped somewhere,” she said.  
  
“I’d say the lady’s right,” Abraham agreed, turning sharply with his rifle raised above him as he passed by an aisle. “We should get this thing started asap.”

“We’ll split into two groups. Stay together. Grab a cart and load it up. Doesn’t look like this place has been touched recently, so we’ll get what we can.” Rick gave the order and they all followed his lead. He veered off to the left of the supermarket and Michonne, Glenn, and Sasha followed him. Kate went right with Eugene, Abraham, and Daryl, the former pushing their cart nervously.  
  
They passed an aisle of canned goods and Kate gently guided Eugene along by pulling on the front of the cart.  
  
“Here,” she pulled to one side and shone her flashlight at the labels. Soup, and lots of it. It was clear people had scavenged in the supermarket before, but clearly not in such large numbers. There was still plenty left.  
  
“What are the odds nobody else finds this place before we get back here again?” she said aloud, aware of her desire to grab literally everything and knowing she couldn’t. She and Eugene began loading up the cart as Daryl stood at one end of the aisle and Abraham the other. A walker lurched slowly towards the former sergeant and he dispatched it quietly with his knife, like it was nothing at all. He dropped the body to the floor like it was a sack of potatoes and then carried on.

“I’d say it’s 50/50,” Eugene answered her question as he stacked up cans of tomato soup in one corner of the cart. “Assuming we get out to actually get back here again.”

It was a good point, but then Kate had always been acutely pessimistic herself.

When they were satisfied with their initial haul, they moved on to the next aisle. On the other side of the supermarket they could hear whispers and the slice of Michonne’s sword as she dispatched the dead, but it didn’t sound like anything to be worried about. The shelves around them were well stocked with dried pasta and noodles and stacks of ramen, which Eugene must have been very familiar with, as Kate noticed a dash of enthusiasm in the way he started to load the cart. She was wondering whether they’d come across any jars of pasta sauce that were still edible when Daryl stepped back and nudged her with his elbow.  
  
“Hey,” he mumbled and inclined his head to the three walkers staggering towards them from the aisle over.

Kate looked back to see Abraham moving forwards.

“One each? Seems fair to me.” He grinned as he spoke, and together the three of them charged towards the walkers. Daryl dispatched his quickly with his crossbow, kneeling to pull the bolt from its eye socket as he watched Kate and Abraham ram knives into the heads of their walkers and then yank them back out again. Blood flicked back into Kate’s face.  
  
“Ugh,” she wiped at her cheek with the back of her sleeve. “I’ll never get used to that.”

Abraham was totally unphased, looking down at her curiously and then quickly leaning back as she raised the sleeve to his own face.

“Might as well, this shirt’s already ruined.” She paused with the sleeve held in front of his face, and when he relaxed and made no moves to lean away again she passed the cloth over his cheek and across his brow, where the worst of the blood had splattered. He was about a head taller than her, so it wasn’t much of a reach.

“Thanks,” he said gruffly when she was done, and then he turned back to look over his shoulder. “You okay Eugene?”

“I’m good,” the still proudly mulleted man nodded and marched the cart forwards into the next aisle. They followed behind him, and Daryl moved ahead. Despite everything that had happened between them, Kate couldn’t help but notice that Abraham was still instinctively protecting Eugene in one way or another. Admittedly they all did it – he was still nervous as hell around walkers – but in this case she thought it was especially notable.

Kate didn’t really think about how comfortable and natural it had felt to be so close to Abraham until they were another three aisles down. As she thrust her machete into the skull of a walker that had somehow wedged itself between two shelves, she thought back to the journey to D.C. When Abraham had broken the stitches on his knuckles, she’d watched Rosita patch him back up in the book shop. It was a useful skill to have, and later, after he’d almost killed Eugene, Kate found herself putting that skill to use on him when he split his stitches a second time.

Abraham was kneeling, his knuckles dripping blood as he stared into the distance. Although Kate didn’t approve of what he’d done, she did feel sorry for him. He was a broken man, all the vim and vigour she’d admired about him back at the church completely gone. So when the others left in search of water, she pulled the medical kit out of the fire truck and approached. He had tensed up immediately.  
  
“Now listen,” she said, crouching in front of him. “I’m not afraid of wrestling with a grown man if I have to. Just let me fix your hand and I’ll leave you alone.”

He had been silent for some moments, glaring at her at first and then finally seeming to surrender when she did not back down. He didn’t offer his hand to her, but rather he offered no resistance when she knelt down and placed it on her knee so she could get a close and steady look at it.

“I’m not sure I’ve got the hang of this yet, so sorry if I pinch you. I think you can take it though.” It was a half-hearted attempt at a joke, and it got no response from him. He didn’t even flinch as she passed a needle and thread through his wounds.

It was a shoddy patch-up job compared to Rosita’s, even Kate would have to admit that, but as they crossed into the health and beauty section of the supermarket she glanced at Abraham’s hand and noted at least it wasn’t hideously scarred.

She passed a few shelves lined up with various lip balms, whispered a single “Yes!” to herself and then shoved one into her jacket pocket and tossed a few into the bottom of the cart. Next she grabbed deodorants, shampoo and conditioner, toothpaste, and a couple bottles of mouthwash. This wasn’t the sort of thing she’d take in the volume they would food, but it all felt important enough to her to justify some room. Michonne at least would be extremely happy about the toothpaste.

Unfortunately, other survivors had obviously gotten to the medicine aisle before them. Kate stared at empty shelves marked with the labels of painkillers and anti-septics, even all the antihistamines were gone. Hayfever was a bitch. They came away from the area with some basic vitamins and band-aids. Kate was even able to toss in few boxes of condoms without any of the men noticing. She was sure she knew a few ladies in Alexandria who would be grateful for the option.

When they reached the far end of the supermarket they met up with Rick and the others. Sasha pointed to a set of doors marked ‘Private’, and Kate could hear that there were definitely walkers shuffling about on the other side.

“I think most of them must be in there,” Sasha said. “How did you guys do?”

“No problems here,” Abraham answered. He looked into their cart. “About as well as you folks did, I reckon. It’ll be worth the long drive to come back here again.”

Rick nodded in agreement. “We’ll load the carts right into the back of the truck, work our way back from there.”

As they walked back towards the exit, Kate watched Eugene pluck a candy bar from the edge of a checkout counter. Noticing this, Eugene snapped it in two and offered her one side.

“Nah, you keep it.” She shook her head and scrunched up her eyes as they stepped back into the sunlight. It was too bright and too hot. Jessie had given Kate a haircut shortly after they’d arrived in Alexandria, and her dark, curly hair was now back to her preferred length of just below her chin. It hadn’t really helped much with the temperature though, and Kate was was glad when they finally got back into the relative shade of the car for the drive home.

She sat next to Sasha in the back, while Abraham drove and Daryl sat brooding to himself in the passenger seat. Digging around in her pocket, Kate pulled out the lipbalm she’d stashed there and examined it, pleased with her choice. She popped off the cap and twisted the bottom of the tube, relishing the feeling as she swiped a little moisture back into her lips. As she rubbed them together and hummed quietly to herself, she heard Sasha laugh.

“Enjoying that?” She asked.

Kate grinned and showed Sasha the label. “You have no idea! This is coffee bean flavour. I know it’s silly but it’s kinda nice to have things like this every now and then.”

As she put the lipbalm back in her pocket she heard Daryl muttering that he could think of more important things to have. Kate noticed Abraham glance at her in the rear-view mirror before turning his blue eyes back to the road ahead.

“I don’t know, Dixon. Sounds pretty good to me.” He said.


	3. Surviving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming back at you with another chapter. My current plan is to update once a week at least, but I could see it being more often than that if life doesn't get in the way. 
> 
> Once again, thanks so much for reading. I'm surprised by the amount of hits since I always just assumed this was going to be a really niche audience. Please leave a comment if you're enjoying the fic so far.
> 
> \- H.

Kate had known three people in her time that seemed to enjoy killing walkers, and Abraham Ford was one of them. She knew dozens more who feared it, who stood on watch at night and prayed that nothing would stagger out of the dark towards them, but somebody like Abraham...that was rare. It was something she’d been able to acknowledge about him without tying in any of her other feelings – and there _were_ other feelings. Maybe, Kate reflected, she just liked big men. After all, hadn’t Shane caught her eye back on the farm? Big men with big tempers were clearly her brand. It felt frivolous to even think about that sort of thing now, but with all the horror going on around her every day it was nice to have a pleasant distraction.

“Son of a dick!”

She was pulled out of her daydream by Abraham’s booming voice, and sat up in her seat as he put the car in reverse and swung it around. A large group of walkers had worked their way onto the road from the woods, and while the truck ahead of them had been big enough to plow through the herd, it had left enough bodies in its wake to create a blockade, the walkers still upright adding a further problem.

Abraham drove the car a few feet down the road and then shut off the engine.  
  
“Easy enough,” he shrugged to himself like thirty or so walkers, possibly more if you counted the ones still on the road, weren’t a big deal. “Looks like Rick’s waitin’ on us anyway.”

Kate looked at the truck and saw it had come to halt some way ahead.   
  
“Let’s do this quick,” Daryl opened the door and was out of the car before anyone could say anything else, shooting his crossbow at the dead coming at them from the right while Abraham burst from the car and pulled his knife from its sheath. Kate followed his lead, and Sasha came after her. They moved in front of hood of the vehicle in a semi-circle.

“We should keep this quiet, spread them out a bit. We don’t know how many are in the trees still.” Kate raised her machete in front of her and drifted to the left, drawing a walker towards her. With the heel of her boot she kicked out at its legs until it was on its knees, bringing the knife to the side of its head to dispatch it quickly. Sasha joined her, and together they cut through the crowd killing walkers one-by-one while the men did the same on the other side.

Kate could hear Abraham talking to himself as he moved; low grunts and small chuckles emanating from his mouth every so often as he charged through the dead. Over by the truck, she could see Rick and Michonne moving quickly towards them, and when they reached the herd they attacked from the opposite side until both groups met in the middle, bloody-faced and breathing hard. The six of them naturally formed a circle, occasionally bumping backs and elbows as they worked to clear the remaining walkers coming at them.

Kate, still on the left and facing the woods, lunged out at one and missed. The tip of her blade sliced along its collarbone, and the move caused her to stumble, her weight falling in the direction of her motion. She crashed into Abraham’s side, and in the space of a blink the man had his arm around her waist, swinging her behind him as he plunged his knife into the walker’s skull.   
  
Later she’d wish she could have appreciated the moment more, but there was no time for fantasy when reality was coming at you with a deadly bite. In another second a different walker was on her, and Kate had no choice but to extend her arms (a risky move) and shove it backwards, giving her the chance wield her machete at a safer distance. She slammed it into the creature’s forehead and was relieved when it stopped moving. As she knocked it to the ground she turned and saw Michonne bringing her sword down on another.   
  
Daryl was moving on the balls of his feet, edgy and impatient.

“There’s still more coming,” he said. “Let’s just leave the damn car and come back tomorrow.”

Rick looked into the woods, considering their situation before nodding: “Yeah. Get the keys. Let’s go!”  
  
Before Daryl could turn back to the car Abraham raised his palm. “Got ‘em already.”

They ran to the truck. With four people already in front Kate realized they would have no choice but to climb in the back with the supplies they’d gathered. As Glenn ran out to lift the shutter for them, Kate looked back at the car and saw that at least another twenty walkers had worked their way towards it and were now lurching slowly towards them in vain. She was the last into the truck, and as the shutter closed behind her it left Kate, Abraham, Daryl and Sasha in relative darkness. With the supplies around them there wasn’t much room to move, and once the engine started and the drive began it became clear that standing was not viable option. As glass jars clinked against eachother in their boxes, Kate slunk to the floor of the truck as best she could, her knees pressed against her chest and her feet brushing up against somebody’s leg. She could make out an outline of a person but nothing more.

“Hey Abraham,” she called out. “Thanks for the save back there.”

Really it was a stupid thing to say. If they all went around thanking eachother for every time one saved another’s life, they’d be doing it all day. But Kate felt it was necessary anyway.

“All in a day’s work,” Abraham replied, and it was then that Kate realized it was him who was sitting next to her.

Suddenly she was glad for the darkness; it hid the blush she could feel burning at her cheeks.


	4. Past and Present

A few weeks into their new lives in Alexandria, Kate began to realize that sharing a house with Abraham was really going to be a problem. What had started as her acknowledgement to herself of her attraction to him had escalated into a small crush, and then a slightly a bigger one. Now, however, it was a full-blown my-heart-feels-like-it’s-going-to-beat-out-of-my-chest crush. The house was large, true, but knowing Abraham’s bedroom was just down the hall from hers made it very difficult to sleep or get much of anything done.

The day she’d seen him standing at his door in nothing but a towel had truly made her crazy.

It was morning, and as she left her room to head down for breakfast Kate heard Eugene talking. She looked up and saw Abraham, clearly fresh from the shower, clutching a towel around his waist. His red hair was still wet, and droplets of water from his moustache dripped down to his broad chest. He was standing in the doorway of his room listening as Eugene pointed out something to him on a map. When the two men saw her lingering awkwardly, Eugene flashed the paper at her.

“Hey Kate, you should definitely take a look at this too. I’ve found a warehouse which I believe may provide both ammunition and valuable scrap metals,” Eugene said.

But while he was clearly oblivious to his friend’s state of undress, Kate could feel herself beginning to shiver at the prospect of standing that close to Abraham when he was like that. She could see that beads of water still clung to his stomach, and could not help but picture herself licking them off one-by-one.

“Uhhh,” Kate scrambled for words. “I’m pretty hungry....breakfast.”

She skittered off down the hallway and practically ran down the stairs, opting quickly for a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice so that she would have something to focus on and something to hide behind. Beneath the top of her black shirt she could see that her chest had gone bright red, which meant surely that her face was too. It certainly felt hot. There was no way Abraham couldn’t have noticed.

Kate sat down and began to eat.

“You okay?” Rosita eyed her from across the kitchen table.

“Mmm-hmm,” Kate nodded yes, and attempted a sincere smile. It was probably weak as hell, but fortunately for her Rosita did not have the time to think too much about it when Eugene came down the stairs.

_Oh god_ , thought Kate. _Does that mean Abraham’s going to be coming down next?_

Eugene looked at her as he poured some cereal into a bowl: “Wow. You really were hungry.”

Kate noticed that she had been chewing a little too enthusiastically, and probably loudly. Swallowing slowly, she gestured around them, her remaining toast clutched between her fingers. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m not used to all this yet,” she said. “You know, actually having food.”

Eugene grunted in agreement and sat down next to her, bowl in one hand and a spoon gripped in the other. “These people truly don’t know how good they have it,” he replied, looking wistfully at his cereal for a moment before finally digging in. Slowly, the kitchen began to fill up as others appeared from their bedrooms or from the house next door. Kate had almost forgotten entirely about Abraham until she heard his loud footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Didn’t realize we were having a party,” he declared, moving straight for the coffee machine to make himself a cup.

Kate allowed herself one quick glance at his now-clothed back, and then looked away again. The last thing she wanted was to catch his eye when he turned around.

* * *

  
  
When it came to jobs in Alexandria, Kate wasn’t exactly what you’d call skilled. Back when things were normal, she had two university degrees in English Literature and a whole lot of retail experience. Being able to contrast and compare two Victorian novels wasn’t useful anymore, so she took the jobs assigned to her by Deanna without much fuss. She knew if she really looked around, there were other people far less helpful than she was, but not having the experience of people like Rick or even Maggie with her medical knowledge still made Kate feel bad. She wanted to contribute.

Watching the gate, while incredibly boring, was admittedly an important job, so when she was given it as one of her regular duties Kate felt trusted. Along with the others assigned to the various watch points around the safe zone, Kate was relied upon to keep everybody safe. It was a chance, finally, to give something back, to be _somebody_ ; not just another bedraggled survivor on the road. She had not felt like this since before she’d lost them. Claire. Sam. Jess.

Kate had not come to America alone.

It had been a holiday, the first part of a tour around the world, and something they had saved up for and planned for two years. Three weeks in, everything went to shit. They were supposed to be moving on to the next country in their trip, but with the mysterious illness taking over the States, all the airports had been closed. The women had been stuck, and within three months all but Kate were dead.   
  
Claire and Sam had been overrun by walkers on the same day (Kate could still hear the screaming). Jess had removed all chance of such a possibility with a gunshot (she’d used the last bullet they had). By luck alone Kate had survived. It was something she thought about often; she ran through scenarios in her head and wondered if a few different decisions here and there meant her friends would be in Alexandria with her now. Or whether another choice or path meant that she wouldn’t be there either.

It was easy to get caught up in grief and forget that one mistake or careless thought could get you killed. It was why she took watch duty so seriously. Kate stood at the gate, let people in and out, and generally kept an eye on things. It was usually an uneventful job, aside from a few straggling walkers, and her shifts often lined up with Sasha’s on the guard tower next to the gate. But this all changed when the woman was moved to a post further out to make better use of her skills as a sniper.

Of all people to replace her, Deanna just _had_ to pick Abraham.

Admittedly it wasn’t always him, he had started taking charge of construction after all, but sometimes it seemed that he would be there every day when Kate approached the gate. There was always a reason, whether it was because he was on watch or because he had just shown up to talk to whoever was on shift before her. Once, before heading out to work on the expansion, it had actually been Kate he’d been looking for: _Talk some sense into Eugene_.

She had found it very hard to concentrate on why he wanted her to do this when those blue eyes were looking down at her. They really were special. She was so intrigued by the man that on that day she agreed with him without really thinking about it, and only after her watch shift, when she’d gone to talk to Eugene, she realised in a daze that she would do just about anything Abraham asked of her.

Several times a week they worked together at the gate, him in the tower and her on the ground, and it was difficult not to look up at him instead of what was in front of her. Occasionally they exchanged words (this both thrilled and terrified her), but it was always about the work. Abraham was very focused in this regard, and Kate did her best to be the same. She found that she could keep watch _and_ picture Abraham screwing her brains out at the same time. If he had any idea what she was thinking in those long, drawn-out hours, he didn’t say. Kate thought they made a good team.


	5. Dogwood Blossom

_'Keep climbing into my head without knockin'_   
_And you fix yourself there like a map pin...'_

The richness of Abraham. His power to laugh, to fight, to give, to understand. God, Kate could not stop thinking about him. She was sure she was looking at him through rose-tinted glasses, sure that she was being blinded by hormones and adoration, and yet she didn’t care. It was no good fighting her feelings when they were this strong. Days on watch with him amplified them; solitary nights spent dreaming about him made them desperate. She was well and truly into him, and there was no getting out.

It was both a blessing and a curse to Kate when Abraham offered to join her in helping to lead the walkers away from the quarry. What made it bad was the suddenness of it all. At first she reasoned she had plenty of time to prepare, to think about how she was going to focus on the important task at hand and not on the fact she was alone in a car with Abraham. But then the truck had collapsed and they’d all been forced to get things going a lot quicker than expected. All at once she was alone in tight quarters in a life or death situation with a man she couldn’t get enough of. It got her heart pumping in more ways than one.

_You all have your assignments._ Rick’s voice sounded through the walkie-talkie. _You know where to rendezvous._

If Kate was honest it was all a lot more dangerous than she’d expected it to be when she offered to go, but she wanted to help. And besides, there really was no backing out of it now. Especially not in front of him.

Whatever insecurity she was fighting in that moment clearly broke through her mask, or else Abraham just wasn’t fooled by it. He seemed to sense Kate’s nerves.

“You good?” He asked.

She could see him watching her as she drove, and she tapped her fingers on the edge of the steering wheel distractedly. “Yeah. I’m good. Just didn’t expect it to go down this quickly.”

Abraham chuckled at her. “That’s life. Always throwing shit at you before you’re ready. It’s how we learn.”

He said it with such assurance that Kate wasn’t sure how to respond, and then of course there was the massive problem of her desperately wanting to jump his bones. She was very aware of how she behaved around Abraham because she didn’t want him to think she was stupid. Kate hoped he saw someone who was strong and intelligent and loyal. Her greatest fear was that he saw her as a kid who needed protecting. She still didn’t know why he had offered to come with her.

“Yeah, I know. You’re right,” Kate replied. “I’m a planner is all.”

She slowed the car when they reached the red balloons marking their first stop point, and Abraham signalled to Daryl over the radio. “We’re at red. Bottom of the hill.”

_Alright, here comes a parade._

When their car met with Daryl’s bike, it was almost a relief to Kate to have a third person in the vicinity.

Almost.

The hundreds of walkers that were trailing behind him were beyond terrifying. It was not so much the sight but the noise that really did it, the groaning and gurgling sounds, the stumbling footsteps, the rasping call of the dead as they shuffled together. She pulled the car in front of Daryl and kept it moving along at a steady pace, grateful that walkers were slow and stupid. She wasn’t sure they’d stand much of a chance against such an army if they were fast. In fact Kate knew she’d have been dead a long time ago if that was the case.

“Let’s just hope this car doesn’t die on us,” she said wryly, eyeing the horde in the rear-view mirror.

Abraham, resting his arm against the top of the window, nodded in agreement. “Amen to that.”

The walkie-talkie sounded every few minutes as others reached their locations and fired their flares. After a while, Kate noticed Abraham looking behind them.

“What is it?” She asked.

“We got some lookie-loo’s taking a little constitutional off the shoulder. They’re starting a damn walkout.”

Kate shot a glance in her wing-mirror and saw what he meant. A few walkers had begun trailing off the road, and if they didn’t act quickly they would start to draw others along with them.

“You want to have Daryl circle back?” Kate looked at Abraham nervously.

“No.” He reached for the door-handle, turning to grab his gun as he moved. His fingers brushed Kate’s arm as he did this, and she shivered. “Keep moving,” he continued. “I’ll catch up.”

Abraham jumped out of the car too quickly to hear her calling his name, and Kate was half-tempted to stop and go after him. But there was more than just the two of them to think about, and despite all her instincts she knew she had to consider that. She tried to keep the car as straight and stable as she could as she looked back over her shoulder, desperately trying to keep her eye on Abraham. He was charging through the woods and shouting in an effort to draw the straying walkers back into the pack, eventually looping back around until he was on the road again.

He ran back over to the car and jumped inside. Blood was splattered on his face and shirt.

“I don’t know if I should call you crazy or not...” Kate said, looking into the rear-view mirror. It seemed like what he had done had worked.

Abraham leaned towards her (it was thrilling, she had to admit) and twisted the mirror in his direction.

“Well, look at me,” he laughed and tried to catch his breath, surveying the situation for himself.

Kate could not resist a smile. His laugh was infectious.

“There goes that new outfit,” she said.

“Did the job though didn’t it? Everything is aces again. I’d say the sacrifice was worth it,” he replied.

“You might be able to get it out with some scrubbing,” Kate said. “Now there’s one thing I don’t mind about this whole end of the world business: no laundry. Well, maybe some _here_. But back in Atlanta, with all those stores, we were just taking whole outfits off the rack.”

Abraham grinned. “Who’s we? You and Rick strutting through the malls, were ya?”

The thought was funny, Kate had to admit that. “Nah. This was before all then. I had friends that flew over here with me. It was right at the start.”

The tone shifted suddenly at this mention of the past, and she saw Abraham nodding solemnly. He wore a wedding ring but had never spoken of a wife or what had happened to her. Kate often wondered what he had been like before, beyond the military, although she was curious about that too. There was a lot she wished she knew about Abraham. Of all the romantic fantasies she’d projected onto the man, she wanted to know which one was the closest to the truth. 

“Why’d you do this anyway?”Abraham turned to look at her and waved a gloved hand behind them, gesturing to the walkers.

Kate thought about it for a moment, perhaps a little too long. She supposed it was for the same reason she always offered to go on supply runs. “It just seemed like the right thing to do, you know?”

Abraham nodded again and reached out, patting Kate’s knee twice with his hand. It wasn’t particularly affectionate, but it was reassuring. It was a gesture of camaraderie that did not pass Kate by. She only wished she had the guts to ask him the same question.

_Why did you volunteer to help me, Abraham?_


	6. To Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sort of following the episodes for a little bit here; hopefully you all still remember some of the build up. I’d like to avoid regurgitating the show as much as possible – though presently this is too convenient of a narrative to avoid. But needless to say the romancing is coming soon.
> 
> I appreciate the kudos I’ve been getting, though I won’t lie – I’d really love to hear your comments too! I’d like to make more Abraham/Cudlitz stan friends. My twitter username is: cullenbohannons in case anybody wants to catch up with my shenanigans there also. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> \- H.

The gunfire seemed to come out of nowhere. It shattered the windshield of the car, knocked Daryl off his bike, and sent Kate and Abraham careening through a fence as Kate steered the car every which way to get away from it. The two of them were lucky they didn’t go flying through the jagged glass themselves. It was a risky move, and Kate wished she could say it was thought-out and planned, but really she hadn’t had much time to think about it. Relatively unscathed for having plowed through the fence, they were given a valuable second or two before the cars pursuing them caught up. One took care of itself, crashing into a bus and drawing nearby walkers to the people inside. Another followed Daryl. The third got the receiving end of Kate and Abraham’s weapons, and came to a halt quickly.

When there seemed no risk of further gunfire, Abraham pulled his knife from his belt.

“What are you doing?” Kate looked him doubtfully, eyeing the walkers staggering slowly around the area.

Abraham smiled. “Just giving it a last little polish.”

Kate put her hand on his forearm. “There could be more.”

The sound of a car in the distance made the decision for them.

“Screw it.” Abraham shoved the knife back and the two of them ran in the direction Daryl rode, skirting the roads and staying close to buildings for shelter.

“You see anything?”

“No. It’s clear though, and his bike’s gone.”

They paused in front of a car, and Abraham bent to examine a spent bullet casing on the ground. That was the soldier in him, Kate thought.

“These are his shells,” he said. “He fired at ‘em, got away.”

Kate peered over the top of the car. The street was empty, and it was eerily quiet. She turned to look at Abraham: “Who the hell were those guys, anyway? There aren’t enough people around to just wait for somebody to ambush for supplies. And they couldn’t have just been watching us, not with what we were doing. All those walkers....it was too dangerous.”

“Nah,” Abraham shook his head and looked back at her, his arm brushing up against hers. “They were looking to chew up someone in particular...whoever the hell they were.”

Kate pulled the walkie-talkie from her belt and tuned into Daryl’s channel.

“Daryl, you copy?”

Static hissed back at her.

“Daryl?”

Still no answer.

“Dollars to doughnuts, he’s on his way back to Alexandria now.” Abraham said.

“I don’t think he’d leave us behind.”

“He already did.”

 _God._ Kate thought. _Abraham is stubborn._

“But he came back, clearly. The bullets wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

The thing about Kate was that she could be pretty stubborn herself, and almost as if he sensed this Abraham sighed quietly. “So we go look for him.”

Kate shook her head. She’d always wondered how people had functioned or found eachother without cellphones, and now here she was stuck dealing with it. She thought for a moment and then spoke again: “The best way to find a tracker is to stay put. Let him find you. We could be walking around eachother in circles otherwise, and we both know making a lot of noise is only going to make things worse as far as walkers go.”

“So you just want us to sit here with our precious leathers in her hands?” Abraham replied. Had the situation not been so sketchy, Kate might have laughed at his wording.

She stood up, scanning their surroundings before moving forwards and pressing her right boot deliberately into a patch of mud. “No,” she looked at Abraham pointedly, and he followed.

“Lot of empty buildings here,” Abraham looked down the street, his rifle up and ready if danger presented itself.

“My thoughts exactly,” Kate echoed.

She approached a door and looked around for something to write with. A muddy twig from a nearby tree was the best she could come up with. She carved DIXON into the door before they both stepped inside, flashlights raised up above their guns.

It was dark and quiet in the hallway. From the signs on the walls and out front Kate could tell it was some kind of office building, so she guessed it wasn’t that surprising that it wasn’t full of walkers. Who the hell hangs around at work when the world is ending?

Dried-up mugs of coffee sat sticky on desks, paperwork half finished or not done at all lay strewn on the ground and hanging halfway out of filing cabinets. Between them, she and Abraham checked over the rooms one-by-one. When she reached the last, Kate found it was the brightest, and figured that it was probably the best place to stop. It was at the front of the building, and two large windows looked out at the street. The blinds were still intact, so they had some form of cover if the men who chased them came back. With the sun shining, it was almost peaceful. The only trouble was the walker.

It was inside an office with a clear sliding door, and when Kate moved to open it she found it was locked. The walker could see her, wanted desperately to get to her, but could not. It gurgled and pressed its hands against the glass, an irritant more than a danger. She sat down on a chair and waited for Abraham to enter. When he did the thudding of the walker startled him.

“How come gorgeous over here is still standing?” he said.

“He can’t get out. It’s locked. We’re fine. I figured this was the best place,” Kate gestured to the windows. This moment of stillness on Abraham’s part only brought to the forefront her awareness of their situation. Alone together again. Really alone this time.

The walker thudded against the glass and Abraham looked at her.

Okay, so _kind of_ alone.


	7. Cosmic American

_‘I'm a live wire  
I'm a short-wave radio  
Do you copy...’_

A few hours passed, during which Abraham insisted on taking watch while Kate slept. Only she couldn’t sleep, could settle with him there. Even lying behind a desk she felt vulnerable somehow. Exposed. She made a deliberate effort not to watch him as he went through the desks in the room, yet somehow he seemed to sense her distinct awareness of him.

“Can’t sleep?” he broke the silence, striding by her to peak out of the blinds at the street below.

Kate sat up. “No.”

She looked at him, noted the tension his shoulders. He seemed aggravated. When he turned away from the window he laughed, but it was not a laugh full of mirth. Kate could see he was frustrated and was intent on taking some of that frustration out on her.

“This our new home?” he asked her dryly.

She got up off the floor and brushed her jeans off before walking around the desk to meet his gaze. “You didn’t have to come Abraham. I was fine doing this by myself. You chose to come with me, though I still don’t know why.”

“Oh?” He folded his arms across his chest. “I didn’t have a choice there.”

“Why?”

“You going stag was not an option.”

“I think I’ve proven plenty of times that I know how to take care of myself, Abraham. One way or another I always get the job done.”

He looked down at Kate and she noticed something in his eyes change.“I know that,” he said. “Wasn’t about that.”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the help, but you seem kind of pissed off. I know those guys on the road came out of nowhere, but some shit going down was always going to be inevitable, and we could be in a much worse place than here. Given everything that’s happened to me, to all of us, sitting around waiting for Daryl feels like a luxury.”

“I guess it is,” Abraham’s reply was quiet and gruff, and he looked down at his feet before seeming to wind himself up again to look at Kate. “I’m not pissed off. My psyche’s not situated straight yet, that’s all.”

Kate nodded. “Yeah, I get that. More than you know.”

It was bizarre to be having this conversation with him. Abraham was not an open-book. On the surface Kate didn’t consider herself one either, or rather she tried not to be. But the truth was it didn’t take much for her to pour her heart out if you got her in the right frame of mind. Abraham though, he wasn’t like Kate, he wasn’t really like anyone. He was a secret. She’d only really seem him vulnerable once, and that was back after Eugene had confessed.

As if sensing that she wasn’t sure what to say next, and neither was he, Abraham moved towards the walker behind the glass door. It pawed ineffectively at the surface.

“You have no idea how much I want to release that thing from this plane of existence,” he said. He rapped on the glass with his knuckles before turning back to address Kate: “I take it you won’t be sleeping tonight?”

She looked at him and then at their surroundings. “Doesn’t feel like it. Anyway, it might be better to look around these rooms some more, see if we can scare up a few supplies.”

Abraham grunted in agreement as Kate bent to pick up the walkie-talkie from the floor. She could feel Abraham still watching her, and as she turned towards him and headed for the door she could see again that strange look in his eyes. She had never seen him look like that before, but she couldn’t decipher what it meant. Beyond that he was giving nothing else away.

Flustered, she hurried past him and muttered: “I’ll....uh- ...I’ll check the rooms in this hallway. Don’t want to be away from the window too long. Daryl might turn up.”

Following close behind with his gun in hand, Abraham answered: “Yeah. Sounds like a plan. I’ll do the other hall.”

* * *

About an hour later, he still hadn’t rejoined her. Kate had begun to get worried. She’d already checked every room, and they were sufficiently rummaged through but there was no sign of Abraham. Likewise she’d called out his name (with some caution, she really didn’t want to draw much attention) but there had been no response. Panicking, she reasoned, was clingy and obsessive and glaringly transparent. There wasn’t any gunfire and she hadn’t heard any kind of scuffle at all, so there had to be nothing to worry about. She fancied the man, she didn’t own him, he was allowed to disappear from her sight every once and a while. Abraham knew what he was doing, and in just a few minutes he would once again prove this theory to her.

As Kate stood by the window looking out, the door to the office flew open and in charged Abraham. The bloody outer shirt he’d been wearing was gone, and the green one underneath had a large tear in the middle of it, but he didn’t seem hurt. Red faced from the weight and with a triumphant smile, he threw a large green bag on the floor in the middle of the room. Then he heaved a bulky black case onto a desk, knocking its contents to the floor. Hanging from his shoulder was an RPG. Kate looked at him in disbelief as he swung it around and placed it on top of the case.

“Where did you get that?” She asked.

He pulled yet more plunder from under his arm: A cigar box. _Of course._

“It is the fruit of some off-the-chart stupidity. Some grade-A butt steak idiocy.” Abraham was breathing heavily, and Kate could see sweat shining on his forearms and face. She walked a few steps towards him and pointed at the rip in his shirt.

“Glad you can see that. Self-awareness is a beautiful thing sometimes.”

He was leaning both arms on either side of the black case when she saw him grin at her. “Yes it is,” he said.

“I hope it wasn’t too much of a risk,” Kate looked down at the bag on the floor. “I would have helped you, you know.”

Abraham was still grinning at her when he raised himself up and took a few steps closer to her. “Why? You worried about me?”

It took everything Kate had not to reach out and touch his stomach through the rip in his shirt. She was staring at it, she realised, but that was better than meeting his gaze. She could feel her face reddening in embarrassment. When Abraham took another step towards her she had no choice but to look at him, otherwise the top of her head would be planted firmly in the top of his chest. 

“I know this group, and I know Rick,” he was confident in the way he spoke, reassuring. “Whatever happened back there is being managed and kicked right up into its own ass one way or another – I know that. What I said earlier about my psyche....it’s just the getting used to it all. We got beer and air conditioning and walls. The table is set for the rest of our lives, and I hope those years to be long and fruitful. I see that time before me and I’ve been feeling the urge to make some plays before the great cosmic Pete comes to cut my throat unceremoniously and I gurgle my last breath.”

Kate watched him, her cheeks still flush and her whole body positively tingling at their proximity. She could practically feel his voice vibrating through her as he spoke.

“What do you mean, Abraham?”

He swiped his hand across his chin as if he was struggling to get the words out.

“What I mean is that things are gonna go on for a while before that, and that hadn’t occurred to me before. I’ve been kind of living check to check on that point. Kate - when I met Eugene, that was my mission. After what happened....well, I didn’t really have one anymore. Just surviving, same as you and everybody else. What we have now in Alexandria is something else. I came with you on this run because I wanted to. I like you Kate, and I believe I’d like to get to know you a whole lot better.”

He reached out and brushed her arm with the tips of his fingers, a gentle movement as if he knew that she was spiraling deep into her own thoughts and needed some push to come out of them again.

“Did you know about...” Kate trailed off, not sure exactly how to phrase it.

Abraham’s hand moved to her face, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“A man can tell.”


End file.
